Gotta Start Smokin'

from by Carla Ulbrich

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    13 tracks of funny songs. 6 originals and 7 parodies, all the important topics covered (droopy pants, tips for traveling to China, soda, serial talkers, the plight of the non-smoker, psycho exes...). Produced by the hugely talented Bob Malone and Steve Goodie.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Totally Average Woman via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 4 Carla Ulbrich releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Sick Humor, Professional Smart Aleck, Her Fabulous Debut, and Totally Average Woman. , and , .

      $25.50 USD or more (25% OFF)

     

about

Just wanna get a non-smoking break! Is that too much to ask?

lyrics

Three or four times a day
My boss has to sneak away
And sometimes I hear him say
It’s a tough row to hoe
To be a nicotine slave

I’m not sayin’ he’s a jerk
But I have to do all the work
Acting manager owner and clerk
While he’s sittin’ in the sun
Man it drives me berzerk

It seems really clear to me
Doesn’t anybody else get the irony
I gotta start smokin’
If I wanna get a breath of fresh air

With the secondhand smoking uproar
He can’t smoke out front anymore
I thought he was absent before
Now he’s gotta get at least
A hundred yards from the door

He says he feels marginalized
He’s hoping to quit and he tries
But if he gives up his favorite vice
He’ll also give up all of that regular exercise

It seems really clear to me
Doesn’t anybody else get the irony
I gotta start smokin’
If I wanna get a breath of fresh air

If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em
It’s true but troublesome
I bought some cigarettes
They’re made of bubble gum

Now I walk in the breeze and delight
In the sun and pretend to ignite
It was all going more than all right
‘Til the boss said “Can I bum a smoke and a light?

Hey what is this crap- bubble gum?
On your break? You’ve got to be joking!
Ulbrich, that’s it - you are done!”
Wait- did I just get fired for not smoking?

It seems really clear to me
Doesn’t anybody else get the irony
I gotta start smokin’ if I wanna get a breath of fresh air
I gotta start smokin’ if I wanna get some exercise
Well I better start smokin’ if I want to get a breath of fresh air

credits

from Totally Average Woman, released October 1, 2015
Gotta Start Smokin'
Vocal, rhythm guitar: Carla Ulbrich
Drums: Mike Baird
Piano, “boss”: Bob Malone
Shout vocals: Bob Malone and Bob DeMarco
Bass: Tim Lefebvre
Recording engineer: Steve McDonald

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about

Carla Ulbrich

Frequently played on Pandora, Sirius XM, and the Dr. Demento Show, funny songwriter Carla Ulbrich
is known for writing about such topics as wedgies, Waffle House, Klingons, and how rich she would be if she had a copyright on the 'F' Word.

She cites her biggest musical influences as Sesame Street, camp songs, and cat food commercials.

This is her 6th CD.
... more

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