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Interviewing Therapists

from Twang by Carla Ulbrich

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about

Imagine what it would be like if we were to screen potential therapists the same way we get screened for jobs.

lyrics

Finding a good therapist is tricky
You never know just what you’re gonna get
So have a little interview before you commit
Just get some questions off the internet

Why do you want to work here at Carla’s neuroses?
Helping people? Duly noted
I see you’ve been at this position for fifteen years
How come you’ve never been promoted?

How will you affect my bottom line?
And would you call yourself a winner?
Do you ever take your work home with you?
You do? What time is dinner?

Finding a good therapist is tricky
You never know just what you’re gonna get
So have a little interview before you commit
Just get some questions off the internet

What makes you think you’re qualified to work here?
I mean besides the PhD
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Please don’t say you’ll still be seeing me

How many golf balls are there in Florida?
And how much fuel would it take to ignite them?
What’s the airspeed of an unladen swallow?
Hey I just ask the questions I don’t write them

Are you willing to fail? Why should we hire you?
How did your last job end?
How do you deal with a difficult client?
Asking for a friend

Thanks for your time we’ll give you a call
Or maybe not I guess we’ll see
If you don’t get the job don’t stay in a funk
Just take this little tip from me

Finding a good therapist is simple
You’ll know exactly what you’re gonna to get
You’ll trim your list of candidates in no time
With your questions from the internet

credits

from Twang, released March 1, 2022
acoustic guitar: Carla Ulbrich
vocal: Carla Ulbrich
Dobro: Rob Ickes
Drums: Steve Goodie
Bass: Steve Goodie
Organ: Bob Malone

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Carla Ulbrich

Award-winning songwriter Carla Ulbrich has played in venues small and large (and sometimes odd) all over the US.

You may have heard her on SiriusXM Comedy radio, or one of many NPR stations, or on the legendary Dr. Demento show.

She has released 10 albums of fun music and was an extra in the movie Sharknado 2.

"Inside Jokes: Songs from Quarantine" is her 10th album. ... more

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