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Needless Dissection

from Totally Average Woman by Carla Ulbrich

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    13 tracks of funny songs. 6 originals and 7 parodies, all the important topics covered (droopy pants, tips for traveling to China, soda, serial talkers, the plight of the non-smoker, psycho exes...). Produced by the hugely talented Bob Malone and Steve Goodie.

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Sit Here and Scream, Twang, Put On A Mask, Inside Jokes: Songs From Quarantine, The LOUD Album, Live at FuMPFest, Totally Average Woman, Live From Outer Space, and 4 more. , and , .

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about

Ah... remember all those super fun dissections in Junior high? Here's one from the frog's point of view...

lyrics

Why are there so many
Kids in this classroom?
And why's this one holding a knife?
If they think they're doctors
Then they have delusions
Is this what they’ll do with my life?

So we've been told
And some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong wait and see
Someday we'll stop this
The needless dissection
The piggies the earthworms and me

Who said that every kid
Should slice something open
And live with emotional scars?
Some become Hannibals
And some become vegans
Why not just teach CPR?

I play the banjo and host a TV show
Success without hurting a flea
Someday we'll stop this
The needless dissection
The piglets the earthworms and me
All of us going extinct
Why not use a frog made of plastic?

Have you been cut in half?
And have you heard voices
Calling each organ by name?
Unless you're a donor
Who gave prematurely
The experience isn't the same

The study of life
Sure involves lots of death
Seems kind of contradictory
Someday we'll stop this
The needless dissection
The piggies the earthworms and me
La da da dee da da doo
Da da de da da de da doo

credits

from Totally Average Woman, released October 1, 2015
Parody of Rainbow Connnection
Lyrics: Carla Ulbrich
Guitjo, vocal: Carla Ulbrich
Strings: Bob Malone
Percussion: ChrisTrujillo
Electric guitar: Bob DeMarco
Recording engineer: Steve McDonald

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about

Carla Ulbrich

Award-winning songwriter Carla Ulbrich has played in venues small and large (and sometimes odd) all over the US.

You may have heard her on SiriusXM Comedy radio, or one of many NPR stations, or on the legendary Dr. Demento show.

She has released 10 albums of fun music and was an extra in the movie Sharknado 2.

"Inside Jokes: Songs from Quarantine" is her 10th album.
... more

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