Cheek to Cheek

from by Carla Ulbrich

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $1 USD  or more


  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    13 tracks of funny songs. 6 originals and 7 parodies, all the important topics covered (droopy pants, tips for traveling to China, soda, serial talkers, the plight of the non-smoker, psycho exes...). Produced by the hugely talented Bob Malone and Steve Goodie.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Totally Average Woman via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $12 USD or more 


  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 4 Carla Ulbrich releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Sick Humor, Professional Smart Aleck, Her Fabulous Debut, and Totally Average Woman. , and , .

      $25.50 USD or more (25% OFF)



Plastic surgery... it's all the rage.


Women- what’s with women
And the plastic surgery that they all seek
Get some lipo and then give your face a tweak
As they move your cellulite from cheek to cheek

Women come on women
Get a browlift and then botox once a week
Do those lip injections make it hard to speak?
When we're out together little children shriek

Oh you look like a surprised duck
Or a circus sideshow freak
I can truly call you buttface now
‘Cause your cheeks are in your cheeks

Oh you went out on a blind date
And the poor guy’s up a creek
He’s not sure which end to talk to ‘cause
Your cheeks are in your cheeks

Can’t you see
Your forehead has no movement
This is not an improvement
If it were me I would sue them

And fellas - all you fellas
Who use steroid shots to build up your physique
And stand flexing in the mirror the whole week
I’d rather chat with an intelligent pipsqueak

Can’t you see
You can’t even comb your hair
Or wipe your own derriere
Because of those muscles there

Genius I’m a genius
I have realized the two of you must meet
Your enhancements I am sure she won’t critique
She would never raise an eyebrow
That’s of course because she can’t now
I’m sure we all agree you two have chemistry


from Totally Average Woman, released October 1, 2015
"Cheek to Cheek" is a parody of... “Cheek to Cheek”
Lyrics: Carla Ulbrich
Vocal: Carla Ulbrich
Piano: Bob Malone
Drums: Mike Baird
Bass: Tim Lefebvre
Recording engineer: Steve McDonald



all rights reserved


Carla Ulbrich

Frequently played on Pandora, Sirius XM, and the Dr. Demento Show, funny songwriter Carla Ulbrich
is known for writing about such topics as wedgies, Waffle House, Klingons, and how rich she would be if she had a copyright on the 'F' Word.

She cites her biggest musical influences as Sesame Street, camp songs, and cat food commercials.

This is her 6th CD.
... more

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