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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    13 tracks of funny songs. 6 originals and 7 parodies, all the important topics covered (droopy pants, tips for traveling to China, soda, serial talkers, the plight of the non-smoker, psycho exes...). Produced by the hugely talented Bob Malone and Steve Goodie.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Totally Average Woman via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 4 Carla Ulbrich releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Sick Humor, Professional Smart Aleck, Her Fabulous Debut, and Totally Average Woman. , and , .

      $25.50 USD or more (25% OFF)



I was at a lunch meeting where the only available beverage was Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper. I really didn't know what to make of that. Neither did my taste buds.


I drink Dr Pepper if I must

But there's some things about it I don't trust

I don't think I'd serve it to a friend

It's the kind of drink that nature didn't intend

Chocolate pepper, cherry pepper

Cherry vanilla chocolate pepper

Diet vanilla fusion pepper too

Hacking pepper, fracking pepper

The kind of pepper in pepper-spray pepper

Wouldn't you like a can of chemical stew?

I give Dr Pepper lots of flack

But everybody knows the guy's a quack

This doc is certainly not a real MD

Though he probably got an A in chemistry

Hear no pepper see no pepper

Wow- there seems to be no pepper

What are my freaking kidneys s'posed to do?

Hey you peppers if Dr Pepper

Actually contained some pepper

Would you still wanna be a pepper too?

Dr Pepper now with actual pepper

Pepper Pepper that'd make u thirsty

Dr Pepper he's not a doctor

Dr Pepper but he plays one in a bottle

Dr Pepper no relation to Sergeant Pepper


from Totally Average Woman, released October 1, 2015
Lyrics 2015 Carla Ulbrich, Steve Goodie, Lou Holtz
Vocal: Carla Ulbrich
Piano, bass, drums: Steve Goodie
Recording engineers: Steve Goodie, Lou Holtz



all rights reserved


Carla Ulbrich

Frequently played on Pandora, Sirius XM, and the Dr. Demento Show, funny songwriter Carla Ulbrich
is known for writing about such topics as wedgies, Waffle House, Klingons, and how rich she would be if she had a copyright on the 'F' Word.

She cites her biggest musical influences as Sesame Street, camp songs, and cat food commercials.

This is her 6th CD.
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