We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

(Have You Tried) Not Bein' a Dick

from Twang by Carla Ulbrich

/

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 USD  or more

     

  • Buy the Full Digital Album

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a digipak (like a tiny vinyl record), with fabulous artwork by Jake Thomas.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Twang via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $12 USD or more 

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    12
    releases

    Get all 12 Carla Ulbrich releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Sit Here and Scream, Twang, Put On A Mask, Inside Jokes: Songs From Quarantine, The LOUD Album, Live at FuMPFest, Totally Average Woman, Live From Outer Space, and 4 more. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $78.75 USD or more (10% OFF)

     

about

Just a little friendly advice. To someone who clearly needs a good whooping.

lyrics

You wonder why your woman left you
And your friends are so very few
Even your golden retriever
Can’t seem to make time for you

Any time you throw a party
Everyone calls in sick
It’s all so sad but I wonder
Have you tried not bein’ a dick

Not bein’ a dick
Not bein’ a dick
Not bein’ a dick
A tool a wanker a pecker
Have you tried not bein’ a dick

You’ve tried going to all kinds of meetups
And looking for friends on craigslist
Learning some clever pickup lines
To find yourself a new chick

You even tried taking up smoking
But no one would flick your Bic
You went to join Scientology
They said “Have you tried not bein’ a dick?”

Not bein’ a dick
Not bein’ a dick
Not bein’ a dick a dinner a dong a doinker
have you tried Not bein’ a dick

If houseplants all turn brown and shrivel
Whenever you enter the room
If raindrops refuse to fall on your head
And babies crawl back in the womb

If you’ve tried to split a hotel room
And your roommate preferred the car trunk
If you’ve taken a personality test and flunked
If your girlfriend keeps deflating herself
Or asks “Can you make this quick?”
Then maybe it’s time you asked yourself
Have I tried not being a dick?

Not bein’ a dick
Not bein’ a dick
It may be against your religion
So how ‘bout just try a little smidgeon
Would it kill ya for just 5 minutes just to try
Just to try not bein’ a dick

credits

from Twang, released March 1, 2022
acoustic guitar: Carla Ulbrich
vocal: Carla Ulbrich
Dobro: Rob Ickes
Fiddle: Andy Leftwich
background vocals: Carla Ulbrich and Steve Goodie
Drums, Bass: Steve Goodie
Piano: Bob Malone

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Carla Ulbrich image

Carla Ulbrich

Award-winning songwriter Carla Ulbrich has played in venues small and large (and sometimes odd) all over the US.

You may have heard her on SiriusXM Comedy radio, or one of many NPR stations, or on the legendary Dr. Demento show.

She has released 10 albums of fun music and was an extra in the movie Sharknado 2.

"Inside Jokes: Songs from Quarantine" is her 10th album. ... more

contact / help

Contact Carla Ulbrich

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like Carla Ulbrich, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Saxophonist Isaiah Collier chats about his new LP and the influence of Pharoah Sanders.
listen now