Joe's Ex​-​Girlfriends

from by Carla Ulbrich

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  • Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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  • Compact Disc (CD)

    13 tracks of funny songs. 6 originals and 7 parodies, all the important topics covered (droopy pants, tips for traveling to China, soda, serial talkers, the plight of the non-smoker, psycho exes...). Produced by the hugely talented Bob Malone and Steve Goodie.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Totally Average Woman via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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     $12 USD or more

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 4 Carla Ulbrich releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Sick Humor, Professional Smart Aleck, Her Fabulous Debut, and Totally Average Woman. , and , .

     $25.50 USD or more (25% OFF)

     

about

Music video coming!
And yes, every word of this song is true.

lyrics

Thank you Joe’s ex-girlfriends
He never complains
Thank you Joe’s ex-girlfriends
You make me look sane

I never wore a hand puppet everywhere
And demand it get respect
I never read the Kama Sutra out loud
While in the middle of sex
At least not yet

Anything strange I’ve ever said
Doesn’t even hold a candle to
“If you don’t stop calling me irrational
I’m really gonna fly off the handle!”

Thank you Joe’s ex-girlfriends
He never complains
Thank you Joe’s ex-girlfriends
You make me look sane

I never said “Oh my God! What’s that noise?
Ugh! You’re blinking! Could you please stop that?”
I never showed a headless naked selfie to your friends
And said “Does she look fat?”

I wear goofy clothes
And I sleep until noon
I make poopy jokes
And watch Spongebob cartoons
I sing to the dog
And I talk to the plants
When I met you
I lived in a van
I’m unemployable
And sing songs about butts
But after batsh*t crazy
I’m only nuts

Thank you Joe’s ex-girlfriends
He never complains
Thank you Joe’s ex-girlfriends
You make me look sane

I’m practically Martha Stewart
Without the insider trading
But that’s another song

credits

from Totally Average Woman, released October 1, 2015
Rhythm guitar, vocal: Carla Ulbrich
Farfisi organ: Bob Malone
Background vocals: Amy Engelhardt
Electric guitar: Bob DeMarco
Drums: Mike Baird
Hand claps: Carla, Bob Malone, Bob DeMarco
Bass: Tim Lefebvre
Percussion: Chris Trujillo
Recording engineer: Steve McDonald

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about

Carla Ulbrich

Frequently played on Pandora, Sirius XM, and the Dr. Demento Show, funny songwriter Carla Ulbrich
is known for writing about such topics as wedgies, Waffle House, Klingons, and how rich she would be if she had a copyright on the 'F' Word.

She cites her biggest musical influences as Sesame Street, camp songs, and cat food commercials.

This is her 6th CD.
... more

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